Tag Archives: bounty

REVIEW: Explosive Eighteen – A Stephanie Plum series novel by Janet Evanovich

Explosive Eighteen is a part of a brilliantly hilarious series featuring Stephanie Plum and her incredible sidekicks.

I am unhappy with this book.  Explanation below 🙂

Stephanie Plum is at it again.  Running from madmen, evading the FBI and police, outrunning mobsters and doing her best to keep Lula from shooting someone.

Being a bounty hunter is positively entertaining in this series.  Whenever I need a good laugh, I close my eyes and reach towards my bookshelf that holds my Evanovich collection.  I never know what story I’m getting myself into, but usually I am not disappointed.  Evanovich is brilliant and her sense of humor is down right breathtaking.  Literally.

Stephanie returns home from her trip to Hawaii.  The most holy moly fact?  She is not wearing a wedding ring but there is a tan line where one was worn.  What happened?  Did she marry Ranger or Morelli?  Only reading the book will tell!  Holy shit, right?!  That’s all I am going to say.

Vinnie is a good bail bondsman but a boil on my family’s backside.  In the past, he’s been a gambler, a womanizer, a philanderer, a card cheat, and I’m pretty sure he once had a romantic encounter with a duck.

As with all of the other books in this series, Stephanie waffles with the attraction and indecision between her lust of Morelli and Ranger.  In my opinion, something needs to change.  The relationships no longer leave me reading after midnight.  If I am not captivated enough to read past my bedtime, something needs to give.

And now Morelli was a good cop, a responsible home owner, and an excellent pet parent to his dog, Bob.  I’d always thought he had a superior boyfriend, but his job was a constant, frequently grim, intrusion, and I couldn’t see that changing anytime soon. 

The other guy in my life, Ranger, realistically had no boyfriend or husband potential whatsoever, but he was an addictive guilty pleasure.  He had a body like Batman, a dark and mysterious past, a dark and mysterious present, and an animal magnetism that sucked me in the instant I approached his force field.  He wore only black.  He drove only black cars.  And when he made love, his brown eyes dilated totally black.

Lula is one of my most favorite characters of ANY book that I have read.  She’s my hero.  A former ho, big, black and beautifully drenched in spandex suffocating in leopard print and curves that make doughnuts run for their lives, she’s wonderfully hilarious and addictive.

“I’d never say anyone was fat due to that bein’ hurtful, but let’s face it, Lahonka’s a sandbag.  I carry a certain amount of weight, but mine’s perfectly distributed.  My big beautiful bubble butt balances out my oversized boobs…..”

With that said, I am extremely disappointed in this book.  Beyond totally bummed.  I usually read a book that I am excited about in less than a day to a day tops.  It took me until this morning to finish it.  It was released on Tuesday, so that makes it … 6 days.  I found myself struggling through the pages.  Forcing myself to continue and endure the boring, profoundly unimaginative story, I fell asleep several times while reading.

On average, I would find myself in tears from hysterical laughter while reading the books in this series.  I laughed twice reading Explosive Eighteen.  Not even a good wholehearted laugh.  😦

I recommend this book to those reading this series.  To others, I would advise against it.  There is nothing brilliant or phenomenal about Explosive Eighteen.

Mild to moderately indescriptive violent and sexual content.

Line of the book:

“Too bad,” Grandma said.  “He’s a looker, and I’m thinking about becoming a cougar.”

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Book of the day … Lean Mean Thirteen – A Stephanie Plum novel by Janet Evanovich

I could not decide between reading the next Stephanie Plum novel or something with blood and guts.

As much as I was looking forward to delicious slaughter moments .. I have decided that I need to laugh.

New secrets, old flames, and hidden agendas are about to send bounty hunter Stephanie Plum on her most outrageous adventure yet!

MISTAKE #1

Dickie Orr. Stephanie was married to him for about fifteen minutes before she caught him cheating on her with her arch-nemesis Joyce Barnhardt. Another fifteen minutes after that Stephanie filed for divorce, hoping to never see either one of them again.

MISTAKE #2

Doing favors for super bounty hunter Carlos Manoso (a.k.a. Ranger). Ranger needs her to meet with Dickie and find out if he’s doing something shady. Turns out, he is. Turns out, he’s also back to doing Joyce Barnhardt. And it turns out Ranger’s favors always come with a price…

MISTAKE #3

Going completely nutso while doing the favor for Ranger, and trying to apply bodily injury to Dickie in front of the entire office. Now Dickie has disappeared and Stephanie is the natural suspect in his disappearance. Is Dickie dead? Can he be found? And can Stephanie Plum stay one step ahead in this new, dangerous game? Joe Morelli, the hottest cop in Trenton, NJ is also keeping Stephanie on her toes-and he may know more than he’s saying about many things in Stephanie’s life. It’s a cat-and-mouse game for Stephanie Plum, where the ultimate prize might be her life. Continue reading

REVIEW: Twelve Sharp – A Stephanie Plum novel by Janet Evanovich

Twelve Sharp is one of my top favorites in the Stephanie Plum series.  This book is positively phenomenal and filled with intense emotional rollercoasters.

Stephanie Plum is a totally rockin awesome character.  In Twelve Sharp, she finds herself lured into a game of hide and seek with some psycho nut job who believes he is Ranger.

Ranger is hiding from the police and is working to find out who kidnapped his daughter, Julie.  In the meantime, he’s in hiding and decides to move in with Stephanie.

If things couldn’t get any hotter, Stephanie woke to find herself tangled with Ranger.  Just before they could get all down and dirty, Morelli walks into the apartment and drops off his duffel bag.  Morelli moves in too!

Can you just imagine?  Two hotties fighting through their alpha male macho attractions?  Heh .. score!

Sometimes I moonlight for a guy named Ranger who’s extremely bad in an incredibly good way.  He’s a security expert, and a bounty hunter, and he moves like smoke.  Ranger is milk chocolate on the outside… a delicious, tempting, forbidden pleasure.  And no one knows what’s on the inside.  Ranger keeps his own counsel.

Grandma Mazur is invited to join Sally (the drag queen) and Lula’s band.  Strutting around in black leather pants, the scenes are hysterically to die for.  I love Grandma Mazur.  She’s hilarious.  Below is a scene of her talking about privates.

“I haven’t seen too many.  Mostly your grandfather’s… and that wasn’t a real pretty sight.  I wouldn’t mind seeing some others.  I’d like to see some minority privates and maybe some blue ones.  I was listening to one of them late-night radio shows and they were talking about blue balls.  I thought that sounded colorful.  I wouldn’t mind seeing some blue balls.”

This book is wonderful.  I recommend it to all adults as there is some slightly mild sexual content.  The violence is mild to moderate, if you count someone blowing up mild.  I suggest reading the other books in this series first, but it’s not entirely needed.  Even without the character’s progression, the story is amazing.

Line of the book

Yeah.  I know I’m a pervert and all, but I’m not that kind of pervert.  I’m sort of a specialist.  I’m like a do-it-yourself pervert.”