My family moved here from Texas a couple of years ago. It goes without saying (Umm .. then why am I saying it?) that Georgia is completely screwed.
In Texas, when a woman mows the lawn (First off, the grass is usually dead so mowing doesn’t happen often!), she is wearing a used and abused tank top, a pair of cut off shorts that are least a decade old, flip-flops and man oh man she looks nasty. Hair going crazy .. no makeup .. Basically looks like the picture above <3
After a Texas mows the lawn .. They take their grungy smelling ass, and they grab a cold beer. THey plop down on the lawn or in the driveway and have at it. Beer and Mowing the lawn Rule #1: She who mows the lawn, is entitled to a fkn beer at 10am! That’s just a RULE.
Now let’s take Georgia for instance. ….. (eww)
Driving to drop or pickup the kid at school, and there is usually at least one woman mowing her lawn, trimming the bushes, or working their damned gardens. I mean seriously people .. ONE WEED doesn’t matter. Leave the damned thing alone lol … BUt nope .. must be perfect!
Georgia women mow their lawns, and man they look pretty. I’m talking about .. Freshly done hair and makeup .. Outfits that match their pretty shoes (and more than likely is coordinated with their dainty nail polish) and they just bounce away and smile to their heart’s content.
So here I am, deciding to take a pause on editing my book (Totally needed! Not even Dark Chocolate Peanut M&ms could motivate me to continue) and mow. Yay me!
Grungy. Smelly. Hair looks like the teased 80s with too much hairspray and head out an airplane window .. But of course, that’s just what I look like when I wake up! 
I’m wearing a size 16 cut off shorts (totally in 12s now btw .. rock on!) so I’m sagging something fierce! .. I don’t think I shaved recently so there is a good chance a jungle is growing .. Gotta be all sexy yanno?
So I’m totally matching, too! I have this whole .. Ya fuck you I’m sexy and smelly and you can bite me glow going on
Inside now (duh, right?) smelling and sweaty and sitting in my husband’s computer chair (don’t tell him! lol) and rambling away on this blog (I look down and nope .. haven’t shaved my legs in a while) and I’m cursing myself for NOT buying myself some beer while grocery shopping.
This is probably the last time I have to mow this year and I’ve totally screwed up my precious moment and find myself beerless. The tragedy!
As always, I’m readily available and head bouncing happy to respond to all smartass comments I will get today from my friends and family
